Girls night!

The weekly room cleaning! So gross!

Giovanni, Andrew, Tate, and Hannah

Jessica Flores's church

Girl's night at Corinas baby shower

I love singing Spanish worship songs!

It's Nick (our DTS leader)

 
¿Qué pasa, amigos?  Hoy escribÍ mi testimonio en español.  Voy a usarlo en mi crusada.  Las chicas y yo en mi crusada estamos escribiendo canciónes para cantar en la Ciudad de México.  Estoy muy emocionada para pasar tiempo y amar los prostitutos ahÍ. 

Last week in Tijuana, we had a powerful time of prayer over the Latinos in our two schools and in all of Latin America.  We asked God to show us His original design and purpose for this people and how He sees them.  I don’t go into the world to meet their needs; ultimately I lose my life because He is worthy of worship, and I love Him so much that I desire to bring Him joy.   Likewise, Jesus did not serve only because there was a need, but out of love for the Father.  I want to labor with God in His unfulfilled dreams.

In America, we see little fruit because the world has affected our roots.  What do we believe about God and ourselves?  It is not until we have a bigger picture of the gospel that we will have much fruit.  Often I forget that Jesus died not only for my sake but also for the nations.  He has blessed me so I could be a blessing to others.  I can’t give what I have not received.  I can do all things when I know I am His beloved; otherwise I’ll be giving out of my own strength, which is very limited. 

This week Jeff Pratt shared about treasures of darkness (Is 45:3).  I’ve only gone through little trials in my 18 years of life, but God’s best for me is going to involve pain because He wants to purify my love for Him.  In my comfort-driven Christianity, I don’t really know what it means to fellowship with His sufferings (Phil 3:10-11).  The truth is that if He would protect me from pain, He would also have to protect me from His love.  Shared pain brings deeper intimacy than shared joy.  God has many servants but few friends.  Friends carry each other’s pain.  If I am a follower of Jesus, I will be known by my scars.  There is a price to pay for His anointing.  Because my appetite grows best for Him when all is not fine and dandy, I should never try to escape my season of “captivity.”  In the midst of hardship, I should keep my eyes focused on Him and worship Him for who He is.  As He exposes areas of darkness in my life, the enemy is overcome!

I will never stop understanding God's love.  I realize that passion for Him is not a result of my dedication to Him but the result of His longing for me.  I don’t always feel Him, but always have a deep certainty of His love.  He is always there, but we aren’t aware of His presence.  He loves me in different ways.  He is my lover and my bridegroom (John 3:29), my husband (Isaiah 54:5), my friend (Proverbs 18:22), He has the characteristics of a mother (Isaiah 49:14-16) and a father (2 Cor 1:3-4). 

I’ve been asking God to open my spiritual eyes.  Before Jesus did a miracle, He first saw.  Prayer trains us how to spiritually see.  Jesus stopped for the spiritually broken and desperate people.   Like blind Bartimaeus in Luke 18, I want to be willing to do whatever it takes to get His attention.  

DTS: Die to Self.  I’m dying to my false self, so I can risk finding my true self, who God created me to be. 

This hasn't been an easy journey but it's been SO worth it!  Please continue to ask God to bring us revelation of Himself, that we would be desperate for nothing else besides Him!  Tomorrow we’ll be spending an entire day in silence alone with the Lord.  Also, please pray God would continue preparing us for the outreach and that He would anoint our lips to speak Spanish.  Thank you, friends! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

  

Futbol is a different game on this beautiful turf with Mexicans! All the girls from the ensenada DTS played against the Tijuana girls. We lost, unfortunately,  but played with amazing team spirit.

Tijuana base

We spent this past week in Tijuana.  It was like a mini vacation. But glad to be back in ensenada.

Buena vista!

I just learned how to surf for free!  It’s not as hard as I expected.  It was hard at first, but the surfers told me that I learned pretty quickly for my first time.  It’s my new favorite sport!!!   

God has used John Ray, the primary speaker over the past few days, to give me a fresh perspective of the gospel and open my eyes to some doctrines that aren’t biblically supported.  I am still asking God to help me discern truth, and many of the things that he said were contradictory to what I have always believed.  But I don’t want to believe something just because I have always believed it to be true, or others have said it to be true.  I desperately want to know the truth. 

In the next few paragraphs, I tried to summarize some things that God has been speaking to me.

God’s heart is to reconcile all people to Himself.  In the church, we often try to dress up dead people and make them act like living people.  If we don’t realize that we were dead, we don’t see our absolute need for Jesus.  In reality, no amount of exercise on a dead body will bring them back to life.  Jesus did not only come to save us from our sins.  He came to show us how to live.  His entire life on earth and His life today are essential for us.  He came to make us fully alive in Him, so we could in turn live a life, not for ourselves, but for others, for His glory.  We can find our identity by following the life of Jesus, by emptying ourselves so we can become who He wants us to be. 

 I always thought that God the Father turned His face away from Jesus on the cross because Jesus had the world’s sin upon Him and God in His holiness could not tolerate sin.  Ray said that we have built this entire doctrine on one single verse (Mark 15:34), when on the cross, Jesus says “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”  I read with fresh vision Psalm 22, a prophetic Psalm of David referring to Jesus.  Verse 24 says “For He has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and he has not hidden His face from Him, but has heard, when He cried to Him.”  The Father responds differently to sin than we humans do.  We either ignore it or punish ourselves. 

 Sometimes I believe that the Father is far off and I need to earn His affection.   In its cultural context, the story of the prodigal son conveys the Father’s unconditional, unbounded love for us and His response to our rejection and rebellion.  In this era, respect to one’s parents or elders was nonnegotiable.  When the son demands his inheritance, the Father has every right in this society to slap his son’s face with his sandal and tear the son’s cloak as a sign that he had died.  Instead, the Father gave the son what He had asked.  The son was basically tearing himself off of the family line.  (We are adopted into God’s family line.  Only adopted people can legally disinherit their families.)  When the son has squandered his inheritance and finds himself in a pig pen, he realizes that his father’s slaves are better off than he is.  He decides to go back and accept the righteous punishment of the father and be his slave.  But the father has not rejected him.  Instead He is pursuing him.  When he sees His son off in the distance, the right and just thing to do, according to society, would be to slap his face with his sandal and tear His son’s cloak.  But the Father runs toward his son and embraces him and puts his own cloak and ring upon him and celebrates his return.  He throws a party.  The older son complains to his Father.  His actions just completely go against society.  For the third time, the father had the right to slap his son’s face and tear his cloak, as a sign that the son was dead to the family, as he had rudely questioned his Father.   Instead, the Father mercifully responds with grace. “Son, you are always with me, and everything that I have is yours.  It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost and is found.”  The Father does not condemn us; Satan is the accuser and we condemn ourselves.  The Father runs towards us; He did not place a huge divide between us; we distanced ourselves.  We have disinherited our Father, but He has welcomed us back into His family.

 Am I always moving towards God?  I can have the best doctrine and understanding of God, but relationship with God is not dependent on my mental assent. 

 In Acts 2:45, it says the disciples generously gave all that they had to any that had need.  Our government is taking the place of the church.  God cares about the poor.  Do I care about what God cares about?  Those who earn $50,000/year are among the top 1% richest people in the world.  And I often think that the verses in the Bible talking about the rich aren’t relating to me.  But if I sow sparingly, I will reap sparingly.  Every day, people die because I don’t feel like giving.   

 God has been increasing my faith this week.  I’ve been learning how to hear and not doubt His voice.  Last night we were given three colors that each represented the three outreach locations.  We were supposed to ask God to give us a color.  All week I felt God was speaking to me the color orange, but I was afraid that I was just hearing my own voice instead of his.  Right before we were given the colors, a girl shared with me a picture that God gave her for me.  I was learning to ride a bike and God was supporting me so I wouldn’t fall.  God said that it was time for him to let go!  This was comforting to me, because I knew that God had given me this color and I could trust His voice.  So when Nick said the three colors were yellow, green, and orange, I knew right away that orange was the color for me. 

 I am going to Mexico City and the Dominican Republic!!!  There are 5 other amazing girls and three passionate team leaders on the team.  If there were more people on this team, transportation would have been extremely difficult, because the subway is horribly crowded and it is easy to get lost there.  Each of these girls has a strong love for Jesus, a deep compassion for the lost, and a real sensitivity to the Holy Spirit.  One of our leaders has recently reinitiated a ministry, called Unfading Beauty, to reach girls and women in the red light district of Ensenada.  Specifically, we will be interacting with women in the human trafficking industry in Mexico City.  These women are passionate about music, so we will be performing concerts and teaching them about songwriting and other things we’ve learned in the DTS phase.  We’ll be singing in cafes and bars, doing street and youth ministry, and working with teens with drug abuse.  Each one of us will have the opportunity to preach/teach, lead VBS in the Dominican Republic, Most people are Catholics, and many worship Mary, shrines, and St. Death.  My leaders speak of an oppressive, dark atmosphere in this area.  In the DR, witchcraft, violence, racism, and poverty is the norm.  Please begin to pray with us for this trip.  Not just for protection and the money needed, but for God to move way beyond our imagination, and that many would come into relationship with Him!  It will be hard, but the LORD is with us, and we are SO excited!  Thank you!!!    

Mi pueblo hermoso

Mis amigas a la bufadora

Mis amigas a la Bufadora

Saludos, amigos!  It’s been a jam-packed two weeks in Ensenada.  I have been meaning to update my blog but God had other plans and shut the WiFi down the entire first week.  It feels like I have been here for a month, and I already feel at home here.   God is doing a work that truly only He could do.  Some of the highlights of the past two weeks include:

·         Bonding with the 31 students and 20 staff members.  My prayer is that God would unify us and make us one even as Jesus and the Father are one (John 17:11).  We come from all over the world:  Mexico, Scotland, England, Bahamas, Canada, Australia, the US.

·         Hay mucho oportunidades para hablar en español en el base.  Uno de mis amigas mejores es de México y vive en mi cuarto.  Dios es marvilloso.  Él es siempre fiel para protegir en este camino.  

·         Listening to one another’s testimonies.  As we are vulnerable and real with one another, God is healing wounds from our past.  More than ever before, I am overwhelmed with thankfulness for Jesus’s saving work in me. 

·         I asked Jesus to tell me what He thinks of me, and I believe that he said this:  “I’m dancing over you.  I am pleased and delighted in you.  I want to dance with you.  Don’t doubt my love.  Don’t doubt my voice.  Fall in love with me, because my love for you will never change.”  As He was speaking to me, I envisioned Him dancing with me.  I was following in His steps, but sometimes I would try to take the lead.  He asked me, “Will you let ME take this dance?”

·         While reading “Forgotten God: Reversing our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit” by Francis Chan, God has been showing me that I have not completely submitted to His lordship.  I wonder why I am not radically radiating Jesus, when I often attempt to play Holy Spirit’s role and operate on my own strength.  Painfully, I am learning to die to myself.  I’ve had to realize that God is NOT who I want or imagine Him to be.  He is who He is and is not limited by my small perception of Him.  But He’s SO much more beautiful, holy, intimate, worthy, and glorious than I could ever imagine.    

·         This past week we’ve had the opportunity to glean from a woman named Kay Charlotte.  I have never before met someone as bold, blunt, and humble.  She used group object-lessons that she felt the Lord was specifically putting on her heart for our group.  One such lesson involved dragging our baggage everywhere we went for two days.  In another lesson, we spent an hour contemplating on our life’s legacy in a graveyard, and yesterday we decorated a brown bag to represent who we are, the good and the bad.  Learning about my identity in Christ is forever changing me.  Here are a few of the haunting questions she asked us:   what are you feeding more:  your personality (gifts) or character (the fruits of the spirit)?  Am I living in Egypt with not enough, the wilderness with just enough, or in the Promise Land with more than enough (of God’s blessings and supernatural power in my life)?  How bad do I want the promise land of God so that God can use my life to make a difference for His glory?  This point hit me hard:  delayed obedience is disobedience.

·         Psalm 51:17 greatly spoke to me:  “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” 

I am stoked for how God is going to continue to move!  Thank you so much for continuing to pray

• that the Lord would mightily reveal Himself in this time
• that the enemy would have no hold on us
• that Jesus would continue to open our eyes and break our hearts so we can be used for His purposes 
• for rest as many have been tired and some sick
• for rich, intimate encounters with the Lord   

I love and miss all of you, but I know that Jesus wants me in Mexico in this season!