I just learned how to surf for free!  It’s not as hard as I expected.  It was hard at first, but the surfers told me that I learned pretty quickly for my first time.  It’s my new favorite sport!!!   

God has used John Ray, the primary speaker over the past few days, to give me a fresh perspective of the gospel and open my eyes to some doctrines that aren’t biblically supported.  I am still asking God to help me discern truth, and many of the things that he said were contradictory to what I have always believed.  But I don’t want to believe something just because I have always believed it to be true, or others have said it to be true.  I desperately want to know the truth. 

In the next few paragraphs, I tried to summarize some things that God has been speaking to me.

God’s heart is to reconcile all people to Himself.  In the church, we often try to dress up dead people and make them act like living people.  If we don’t realize that we were dead, we don’t see our absolute need for Jesus.  In reality, no amount of exercise on a dead body will bring them back to life.  Jesus did not only come to save us from our sins.  He came to show us how to live.  His entire life on earth and His life today are essential for us.  He came to make us fully alive in Him, so we could in turn live a life, not for ourselves, but for others, for His glory.  We can find our identity by following the life of Jesus, by emptying ourselves so we can become who He wants us to be. 

 I always thought that God the Father turned His face away from Jesus on the cross because Jesus had the world’s sin upon Him and God in His holiness could not tolerate sin.  Ray said that we have built this entire doctrine on one single verse (Mark 15:34), when on the cross, Jesus says “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”  I read with fresh vision Psalm 22, a prophetic Psalm of David referring to Jesus.  Verse 24 says “For He has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and he has not hidden His face from Him, but has heard, when He cried to Him.”  The Father responds differently to sin than we humans do.  We either ignore it or punish ourselves. 

 Sometimes I believe that the Father is far off and I need to earn His affection.   In its cultural context, the story of the prodigal son conveys the Father’s unconditional, unbounded love for us and His response to our rejection and rebellion.  In this era, respect to one’s parents or elders was nonnegotiable.  When the son demands his inheritance, the Father has every right in this society to slap his son’s face with his sandal and tear the son’s cloak as a sign that he had died.  Instead, the Father gave the son what He had asked.  The son was basically tearing himself off of the family line.  (We are adopted into God’s family line.  Only adopted people can legally disinherit their families.)  When the son has squandered his inheritance and finds himself in a pig pen, he realizes that his father’s slaves are better off than he is.  He decides to go back and accept the righteous punishment of the father and be his slave.  But the father has not rejected him.  Instead He is pursuing him.  When he sees His son off in the distance, the right and just thing to do, according to society, would be to slap his face with his sandal and tear His son’s cloak.  But the Father runs toward his son and embraces him and puts his own cloak and ring upon him and celebrates his return.  He throws a party.  The older son complains to his Father.  His actions just completely go against society.  For the third time, the father had the right to slap his son’s face and tear his cloak, as a sign that the son was dead to the family, as he had rudely questioned his Father.   Instead, the Father mercifully responds with grace. “Son, you are always with me, and everything that I have is yours.  It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost and is found.”  The Father does not condemn us; Satan is the accuser and we condemn ourselves.  The Father runs towards us; He did not place a huge divide between us; we distanced ourselves.  We have disinherited our Father, but He has welcomed us back into His family.

 Am I always moving towards God?  I can have the best doctrine and understanding of God, but relationship with God is not dependent on my mental assent. 

 In Acts 2:45, it says the disciples generously gave all that they had to any that had need.  Our government is taking the place of the church.  God cares about the poor.  Do I care about what God cares about?  Those who earn $50,000/year are among the top 1% richest people in the world.  And I often think that the verses in the Bible talking about the rich aren’t relating to me.  But if I sow sparingly, I will reap sparingly.  Every day, people die because I don’t feel like giving.   

 God has been increasing my faith this week.  I’ve been learning how to hear and not doubt His voice.  Last night we were given three colors that each represented the three outreach locations.  We were supposed to ask God to give us a color.  All week I felt God was speaking to me the color orange, but I was afraid that I was just hearing my own voice instead of his.  Right before we were given the colors, a girl shared with me a picture that God gave her for me.  I was learning to ride a bike and God was supporting me so I wouldn’t fall.  God said that it was time for him to let go!  This was comforting to me, because I knew that God had given me this color and I could trust His voice.  So when Nick said the three colors were yellow, green, and orange, I knew right away that orange was the color for me. 

 I am going to Mexico City and the Dominican Republic!!!  There are 5 other amazing girls and three passionate team leaders on the team.  If there were more people on this team, transportation would have been extremely difficult, because the subway is horribly crowded and it is easy to get lost there.  Each of these girls has a strong love for Jesus, a deep compassion for the lost, and a real sensitivity to the Holy Spirit.  One of our leaders has recently reinitiated a ministry, called Unfading Beauty, to reach girls and women in the red light district of Ensenada.  Specifically, we will be interacting with women in the human trafficking industry in Mexico City.  These women are passionate about music, so we will be performing concerts and teaching them about songwriting and other things we’ve learned in the DTS phase.  We’ll be singing in cafes and bars, doing street and youth ministry, and working with teens with drug abuse.  Each one of us will have the opportunity to preach/teach, lead VBS in the Dominican Republic, Most people are Catholics, and many worship Mary, shrines, and St. Death.  My leaders speak of an oppressive, dark atmosphere in this area.  In the DR, witchcraft, violence, racism, and poverty is the norm.  Please begin to pray with us for this trip.  Not just for protection and the money needed, but for God to move way beyond our imagination, and that many would come into relationship with Him!  It will be hard, but the LORD is with us, and we are SO excited!  Thank you!!!