¿Qué pasa, amigos?  Hoy escribÍ mi testimonio en español.  Voy a usarlo en mi crusada.  Las chicas y yo en mi crusada estamos escribiendo canciónes para cantar en la Ciudad de México.  Estoy muy emocionada para pasar tiempo y amar los prostitutos ahÍ. 

Last week in Tijuana, we had a powerful time of prayer over the Latinos in our two schools and in all of Latin America.  We asked God to show us His original design and purpose for this people and how He sees them.  I don’t go into the world to meet their needs; ultimately I lose my life because He is worthy of worship, and I love Him so much that I desire to bring Him joy.   Likewise, Jesus did not serve only because there was a need, but out of love for the Father.  I want to labor with God in His unfulfilled dreams.

In America, we see little fruit because the world has affected our roots.  What do we believe about God and ourselves?  It is not until we have a bigger picture of the gospel that we will have much fruit.  Often I forget that Jesus died not only for my sake but also for the nations.  He has blessed me so I could be a blessing to others.  I can’t give what I have not received.  I can do all things when I know I am His beloved; otherwise I’ll be giving out of my own strength, which is very limited. 

This week Jeff Pratt shared about treasures of darkness (Is 45:3).  I’ve only gone through little trials in my 18 years of life, but God’s best for me is going to involve pain because He wants to purify my love for Him.  In my comfort-driven Christianity, I don’t really know what it means to fellowship with His sufferings (Phil 3:10-11).  The truth is that if He would protect me from pain, He would also have to protect me from His love.  Shared pain brings deeper intimacy than shared joy.  God has many servants but few friends.  Friends carry each other’s pain.  If I am a follower of Jesus, I will be known by my scars.  There is a price to pay for His anointing.  Because my appetite grows best for Him when all is not fine and dandy, I should never try to escape my season of “captivity.”  In the midst of hardship, I should keep my eyes focused on Him and worship Him for who He is.  As He exposes areas of darkness in my life, the enemy is overcome!

I will never stop understanding God's love.  I realize that passion for Him is not a result of my dedication to Him but the result of His longing for me.  I don’t always feel Him, but always have a deep certainty of His love.  He is always there, but we aren’t aware of His presence.  He loves me in different ways.  He is my lover and my bridegroom (John 3:29), my husband (Isaiah 54:5), my friend (Proverbs 18:22), He has the characteristics of a mother (Isaiah 49:14-16) and a father (2 Cor 1:3-4). 

I’ve been asking God to open my spiritual eyes.  Before Jesus did a miracle, He first saw.  Prayer trains us how to spiritually see.  Jesus stopped for the spiritually broken and desperate people.   Like blind Bartimaeus in Luke 18, I want to be willing to do whatever it takes to get His attention.  

DTS: Die to Self.  I’m dying to my false self, so I can risk finding my true self, who God created me to be. 

This hasn't been an easy journey but it's been SO worth it!  Please continue to ask God to bring us revelation of Himself, that we would be desperate for nothing else besides Him!  Tomorrow we’ll be spending an entire day in silence alone with the Lord.  Also, please pray God would continue preparing us for the outreach and that He would anoint our lips to speak Spanish.  Thank you, friends!